冷笑话作为一种新兴的颇受年轻人和网民喜爱的语言方式,一般不会使读者在听到或者读到之后立即发笑,而往往会停顿一下才能明白其中的幽默点。下面是小编带来的简单爆笑英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
简单爆笑英语笑话篇一
Bank Robbery 银行抢劫
Two accountants are in a bank ,
当武装捻匪突然冲进银行的时候。
when armed robbers burst in.
正好有两名会计人员在里面。
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers,
正当几个抢匪向出纳员取钱的时候，
others line the customers,
其他的抢匪就把顾客们，
including the accountants,
包括这两名会计人员在内，
up against a wall,and proceed to take their wallets,watches,etc.
靠着墙壁排成一线开始夺取他们身上的皮夹子和手表等物品。
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two'shand.
当这件抢案正在发生的时候，一号会计人员把纂样东西塞迸二号会计火员的手里面。
Without looking down,a
没有向下看，
ccountant two whispers,
二号会计人员就轻声地说：
"What is this ?" to which accountant number one replies,
“这是什么东西呀?”
"It 's that $50 I owe you."
一号会计人员回答说：“那是我欠你的五十元啦。”
简单爆笑英语笑话篇二
Smaller Fish
小鱼
Two men were in a restaurant and order fish,
有两名男子在餐厅点鱼。
The waiter brought a dish with two fish,
服务生端来装着两条鱼的盘子，
one larger than the other.
其中一条鱼比另外一条来得大。
One of the men said to the other,"Please help yourself."
当中一位男子跟另外一位说：
The other one said"Ok,"
“别客气，请自行取用呀。”
and helped himself to the larger fish.
另外一位男子说：“好”，
After a tense silence,
于是就帮自己挑了比较大条的鱼 。
the first one said,"really,if you had offered me the first choice,i would have taken the smaller fish!"
就在一阵气氛紧张的沉默之后，第一位男子就说：“真是的。如果你要我先选，我就会拿比较小条的鱼。”
The other one replied,"What are you complaining for?you have it,don't you?"
另一位男子回答说：“那你在抱怨个什么劲呀?你现在已经拿了呀，不是吗?”
简单爆笑英语笑话篇三
Exchange Sandwiches
交换三明治
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.
有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。点了两份饮料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned
服务生感到相当不妥，
and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"
就走过去告诉他们：“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”
The attorneys looked each other ,
这两位律师彼此看了一下对方，
shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
耸耸他们的肩膀，然后就交换三明治。
简单爆笑英语笑话篇四
Idiot Teacher
白痴老师
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂， 先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself."
这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
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